Sunday, 14 October 2012

The Mummy Reports 2

My Mummy has now been my Mummy for nearly five months.  It's time I gave her a progress report and highlighted the areas in which she could improve.  Here's how she scored in all the essential areas of Mummyhood:

Availability: 3/10
I have been very busy recently persuading Mummy that she must not put me down EVER.  Also, she must not ever hand me to anybody else except Daddy, and then only if I'm in the mood for being thrown into the air and shouting.  She doesn't seem to understand this at all.  She uses silly arguments, like saying that I can't be in the sling while she is carrying a large heavy pot from the oven in case I get burnt.  She should just hold it further away from me!  It's quite funny watching what she tries to get me to sit happily for a few minutes.  I have three different chairs, a pile of playmats, a thing with swingy fish hanging over it, and there's talk of a door bouncer, whatever that is.  I hate them all.  Daddy brought in a chair from the garage that swings back and forth.  Apparently my sister used to go to sleep in it. HA!

Food: 6/10
The milk is still pretty tasty, I suppose.  But why aren't I allowed to eat what they're eating?  My sister says that I wouldn't like it anyway, but it looks and smells pretty good to me.  My sister said I should tell Daddy.  She says that he used to sneak her tastes of things she wasn't allowed yet.

Physical Care: 4/10
I have no clothes.  Mummy says it is my fault for growing so much.  The other day, I ended up out in the garden wrapped in a blanket.  Honestly, a chap needs trousers and a coat in this weather however big he's getting.

Environment: 6/10
I've worked a few things out since I last wrote.  I can roll over and over, which is fun for avoiding those silly playmats.  I can go on my tummy for ages and get a proper look at the carpet.  And today I sat up for a little bit and thought it was OK.
We've moved house, too - maybe Mummy paid attention to my last criticisms, because this house is nicer and a bit tidier (not much!) and has a big garden, and I have my very own place in Mummy and Daddy's room which they call Jeremy's Cubby.  I don't much fancy sleeping in it, but it'll do for storing all of my stuff.

Entertainment Value: 10/10
Mummy is still very funny.  Last night she had a water squirter in the bath and she kept squirting me with it. Priceless!

1 comment:

Mdivgirl said...

It's always nice to catch up with Jeremy's world. Vivienne can totally relate to the part about Availability. Sometimes she's OK without mommy, especially if her big brother is around and not hammering her on the head with anything, but most of the time if I try to sneak off, she ends up wailing outside my door. She can't really relate on the clothes, though. My little featherweight is going to hit her first birthday still wearing small nappies. Hopefully I'll get Jeremy's gift off in the next day or so and it will still fit by the time he gets it. Vivienne is 11 months and has one in the same size, so here's hoping.