Friday, 24 May 2013

The Mummy Reports 6

I am now one year and five days old.  It's time I gave you my final assessment of how my Mummy is doing as a Mummy.

Availability: 5/10
Mummy is now totally chaseable.  I can crawl at extremely high speeds, and when I reach her, I can climb up her legs and hang from her knees with my super limpet skills.  She has quickly learned that there is no point in trying to divert me from doing this, and generally scoops me up by the third high-pitched scream (I got that trick from my big sister - thanks, Abi!)  
I still need to work on Mummy staying with me while I sleep.  She sits with me for the full two hours that it takes me to GET to sleep, but then I'm pretty sure she leaves.  Sometimes it takes her a full 30 seconds to get to my cot when I call her at 3am.  However, she's still letting me sleep in the big bed from then until morning, so she's not doing too badly.

Food: 4/10
I was going to give food a lower rating because of the number of things that Mummy still won't let me eat, but then I remembered that she baked me a chocolate fudge cake for my birthday, so I added an extra point.  She called it 'miracle cake' because it contained no egg, gluten or milk.  She ate a bit too much of it herself, though.  I mean, it wasn't HER birthday.

Physical Care: 3/10
Mummy is still covering me in yucky sticky ointments every night.  I put up with it because I think it stops the itching, but the new shampoo just has to stop.  I don't care what she thinks it achieves, it smells EVIL!  What if one of those nice ladies at church wants to smell my head again?  It'd knock her out cold in the aisle, and then Daddy would be out of a job, and THEN where would we be?

Environment: 9/10
Mummy gave me some cool stuff for my birthday, which was nice of her, as I already have so many toys.  My favourites are the toilet roll, the wine rack in the kitchen, and the shelves full of books that you can pull out to make towers all over the floor.  Oh, and my ball.  I love my ball.  If I can't find it, I throw other things, but none of them bounce quite as well.

Entertainment Value: 10/10
Mummy is still very funny.  At the moment she likes to pretend that she has mislaid my nose.  She keeps asking me to find it for her.  Odd.  I must meet up with another one year old and ask whether this is normal behaviour for mothers, or whether I should be worried.

All in all, Mummy hasn't done too badly.  She still has a little way to go, but I'm confident that she can learn.  I think I'll stick with her.


Fran said...

Ah, I see the toilet roll and wine rack are still the great toys they were in the 1980s when mine were growing up.

Anonymous said...

Fab - but you should get more points for food - you haven't poisoned him yet! Lynn McCann

Anonymous said...

Oh, please don't stop. My baby daughter is about 2 weeks behind you and i've loved reading your posts. It's uncanny the similarities!