Today I had Jeremy to myself for a bit after school, as Abi was at the dentist with TheRev. I opened his book bag to see if he'd brought any homework back fr the weekend, and found a paper covered with lines of squiggles. (Note: Children's names have been changed in the following conversation. I don't *think* there is a Christine or a Davy in Jem's class, but if there are then I apologise to them. It wasn't them!)
Me: Oh, this is good. You've done some writing today?
Jem: I maked a list.
Me: I see! A list of what?
Jem: It's a list like Father Christmas. I putted Christine on the naughty list.
Me: Oh...kaaaay...Who is on the good list?
Jem: Everyone in the class except Christine.
Me: Oh dear. What did Christine do to be put on the naughty list?!
Jem: She stole mine and Davy's chicks.
Me: Your chips? At lunchtime?
Jem: No, CHICKS. They were having a bath, but she thought the cup we was using was not a bath so she took them and I putted her on the naughty list.
Me: I see you've put yourself on this list, too.
Jem: No. That's just so people know it's MY list.
Me: Ah. Right.
Jem: Did you know school has rules?
Me: I expect it does, yes. What are the school rules?
Jem: They're the same as our rules.
Me: For example?
Jem: No hitting and no kicking and no bubbling in your juice and everything.
Me: Of course...
Jem: But that's not how the school rules song goes. And at school there are more rules.
Me: What's a school rule that isn't a rule we have at home?
Jem: No lying down on the floor.
He then asked to go round to a friend's house and disappeared. Apparently, having a schoolboy means I never get to see him. I hope he's forgiven Christine by Monday...
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| The List |
Me: Oh, this is good. You've done some writing today?
Jem: I maked a list.
Me: I see! A list of what?
Jem: It's a list like Father Christmas. I putted Christine on the naughty list.
Me: Oh...kaaaay...Who is on the good list?
Jem: Everyone in the class except Christine.
Me: Oh dear. What did Christine do to be put on the naughty list?!
Jem: She stole mine and Davy's chicks.
Me: Your chips? At lunchtime?
Jem: No, CHICKS. They were having a bath, but she thought the cup we was using was not a bath so she took them and I putted her on the naughty list.
Me: I see you've put yourself on this list, too.
Jem: No. That's just so people know it's MY list.
Me: Ah. Right.
Jem: Did you know school has rules?
Me: I expect it does, yes. What are the school rules?
Jem: They're the same as our rules.
Me: For example?
Jem: No hitting and no kicking and no bubbling in your juice and everything.
Me: Of course...
Jem: But that's not how the school rules song goes. And at school there are more rules.
Me: What's a school rule that isn't a rule we have at home?
Jem: No lying down on the floor.
He then asked to go round to a friend's house and disappeared. Apparently, having a schoolboy means I never get to see him. I hope he's forgiven Christine by Monday...
